Missed Connections Boyfriend

Y'all may be asking yourselves why I would willingly blab about my 'love' life on the Internet and hardly try to remain Anonymous about it.

Here's why. I am an open and communicative person. The social patterns of humans interest the fuck out of me. I just so happen to be born with a vagina and a thirst to seek out the social patterns of the species that gets me going the most- Mission Boyfriends. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like ALL types of guys. If you are dude thats passionate about something, anything, I mean REALLY passionate-that's sexy. Unfortunately many Mission Boyfriends are intimidated, lost little boys (sorry for the harshness) when it comes to my undeniable charm and prowess in life. God I sound cocky, but I'm being honest. And it's not just me. Most chicks in the Mission are RAD gems that guys are intimidated by. Chicks who have cooler jobs, make better art, have flossier degrees and hella fine record collections. I get it. But what you don't understand is that we like you anyway. We see your potential and we want you to do it big, boy. But don't feel pressured. We are a patient people, us ladies. Give us a chance to show you.

Next on my list of ranting is: My heart is reserved for a special someone, but until I find that person, I'm gonna get my rocks off with other boyfriends. That doesn't mean my vag is whack. It just means I ride a mean D. And come on, sex is as normal and important as breathing and eating.

Which leads me to this, MISSED CONNECTIONS BOYFRIEND you are so beautiful and passionate and lovely and smart and charming. Please don't be intimidated by me! You're special.

Yes, I went on a Missed Connections Craigslist date and it was wonderful. It was with a dude that i've been scoping for like 2 years at Whole Foods. Gosh is he beautiful. Like REALLY beautiful. Although I am not one to be scared of hollering at a guy and seeing whats up, this guy gives me butterflies. Also, I was worried if he said no that it would make it weird for me to go in there next time I needed my sesame tofu fix. So, I concluded that a MC ad was just the way to go. He found it, he emailed me back, cool quizzed me on the music I like and apparently approved of my response enough to make a date with me.

The date was rad. We had great conversation, yada yada, and then I was about to leave for the night and thought to myself "if I leave without a smooch I'm gonna be pretty unsatisfied". So I did it. I said "well, just to round out this Missed Connections date" and I laid one on him.

It might have been too soon, but DAMN did it feel great.

HAVE Y'ALL EVER GONE ON A MISSED CONNECTIONS DATE???

I hope he hollers at me soon.

XOXOX Mission Girlfriend

The Herbs and the Bees: Twilight Branding - concept iPhone iPad MacBook - ...

The Herbs and the Bees: Twilight Branding - concept iPhone iPad MacBook - ...: "Inspired by the popular blog: Mission Boyfriends Lil' Black Book (c) MSLPZ Inc. Designed For The Young Lady With A Big List of things To ..."

For One Of My Boyfriends. DONATE!!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1499924559/cruise-collision

Frank Zappa - How Could I Be Such A Fool 1966

Recently, actually right now, as i'm writing this, the guy I have been seeing on and off told me that he wants to be 'alone' for awhile, and take a break from even banging out. Although this is an easy way to let a girl down, I know factually that he will be on the prowl tonight looking for new booty to squeeze. So, yeah, I'm kinda bummed. But then, I said to myself, "what kind of pep-talk would my oh-so-awkwardly pubescent yet hopeful and optimistic 13 year old self give myself right now?"

In my fantasy day-dream land, I see my acne and braces clad face smiling singing cuts off of Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Inventions first album Freak Out.

So thats what I did. I put on 'How Could I Be Such a Fool' and sang it right to him. I didn't give a fuck. Then I played 'Go Cry On Somebody Else's Shoulder'. Heated eye contact ensued. Laughter also ensued. I knew I was being ridiculous, and he knew I was being ridiculous, but he let me do my thing and it only continued. I then moved on to 'Nan' by Ween to make an extra poignant statement. It felt damn good, i'll tell ya what.

I always knew playing endless Mario Kart while listening to Zappa and Ween would help me out at some point. Today was that day. Thanks.

side note: I'm writing this on the dudes laptop right now. bout to bounce and holler at new boyz.

xoxox Mission GF

Vanity 6 (Soul Train) Nasty Girl

Tonight, living in a fantasy; My own little nasty world.

Also, Daniel from Uptown, I have your number, and I might call it.

xoxoxo Mission Girlfriend

Mission Girlfriend 001

It's important to shout out the other flossy Girlfriends I see around town.
Dudes and Ladies take note: This chick is a boss.

NAME: Lila Bird
FAVE PLACE TO FIND BOYFRIENDS: Haus
FAVE BAR: Dirty Thieves

AND.....she was the best dressed lady at POP'S last night. So Mission Boyfriends, when you see this one around town, give her mad props.


xoxox Mission Girlfriend

Last Night In Bed...

I passed out way early last night on account of eating to much pizza and watching Golden Girls in my bed. I was woken up by a boyfriends call, so I invited him over. I mean, shizz, I didn't even have to go out to get laid. I wasn't even really thinking about it. Just pizza and Golden Girls. Next thing I know I have a sexy dude naked in my bed.

It was chill. We boned. But then....



He told me that "I've changed him for the better" and "he'd love me forever."

While I want to believe he means it, I am hesitant considering this guy also said his mission in life is to "be the alpha dog and sew his 'seed' to as many ladies as possible."
Yes, he said that.

Either way, He's too much of a numb nuts to ever be compatible with me. No offense if you're reading this, you know who you are.


We can still hang and bang.

XOXO Mission Girlfriend

Hotties Getting Haircuts

Ladies and Gentleman. I have stumbled upon a mecca. It's called The Barber Lounge. It is a full-service Salon/Spa/Barbershop for dudes and ladies, and let me tell you they have some of the sexiest barbers and clients I have ever seen. The barber area is directly across from the salon area, so you can just oogle the hotties to your hearts content. Also, there is something so erotic about watch one sexy man groom another sexy man and be totally straight about it. Pretty much had to change the panties once I left.

Make an appointment today!!! 415-934-0411

Mary Jane Girls - All Night Long

This song goes out to all the boys on the rooftops all over SF.

Having That Ah-Ha Moment

Even when I'm reeling from a douchy guy, I never have it in me to completely delete their number. Sure, I might change the name to Smallcock Fuckface, but I still know who it is, and I'm still gonna call it if I'm drunk and DTF. Today was different.

I woke up this morning and without really thinking just started deleting all these fools numbers and texts. Fuck em'. It's a new month and I'm gonna fill up my phone again with new boyfriends. New boyrfiends every month. Line em up.


Line em up! Line em up!
Boyfriends of the month
365 you know I got to have fun
FREE DRANK! FREE DINNER!
FREE DRANK! FREE DINNER!

Boyfriends Be Hating

Boyfriends of the Mission: This blog is not intended to fuck with y'all. It's a voice of the ladies for the ladies.
You are going to read it. You are going to silently wish to be on it. It's all good.










Xoxo Mission Girlfriend

Boyfriend 004

This Boyfriend is named Kris. He is so fucking hot. Damn. Mad props to this babe. He's the type of babe that I wanna get stranded in the woods with.

Well, per usual, that didn't last long...

Oh silly boyz. Take it from me Ladies, if you sense ANY red flags from a dude from the beginning, RUN.



Here is a list of red flags that I chose to overlook. Bad choice.

- Whilst fucking he said "I don't want to get you pregnant...at least not right now"

- When I asked him what kinda kinky shit he was into (hinting at something we could do together) he responded with : "well, ive always been into Asians. Then I got into pregnant chicks. Then I got into pregnant Asians, and then I got into trannys."

Honestly, I'm gonna stop here because the list is extensive. It's pathetic.


I could never be a pregnant Asian tranny for him. Bottom line.